It’s amazing how suddenly your life can change and how permanent changes can be in your life. December brought about a lot of changes for me. Most of which I never thought would ever happen; yet knew in my heart they needed to.
A Permanent Change from Five Years
The Get Fit Dad and I ended our five year relationship. At first it was mutual, and we were able to co-habitat on a friendly basis. Then something changed and an emotion of some sort began setting in for one of us. Mutually agreeing on seeing other people was a good idea. We were able to expand our social networks, and see if we were really meant to be with one another.
An Amazing Man
I had met an amazing man that literally changed my life for the better. He gave me everything that I wasn’t getting in my current relationship. He took the time to get to know me at my worst, and was accepting of how bad my situation was for myself and my kids. He motivated me to make the changes in my life that I needed to make to re-introduce happiness in my life. He complimented every aspect of my being, from my physical appearance to my mind. That too, was something that was missing in my life for a few years.
The confidence that this man gave to me, was exactly what I needed to get myself back on my feet. I started feeling better about myself again, even joining the gym. I started wearing makeup more often. I was even more persistent in my pursuit of a job, which I landed.
A Permanent Change to the Holidays
As the holidays rolled around, things started getting tougher with The Get Fit Dad and I, as well as with the New Man. My life became more complex, and although I was given all the tools back to be independent, successful, and happy, I was still yearning for the closeness of the relationships with these two men. The New Man has started pulling back a bit and distancing himself, which is great for me because I can really focus on getting my life on track, however is a bit sad because I really cared about him on a friendship level and never wanted to lose that closeness I had with him.
It’s now January and nothing has changed The Get Fit Dad is not in my life anymore, and the New Man is still rather distant but we talk just about every day. He’s working on his own private life, and giving me the space I need to work on mine.
In the meantime…
A lot of heartache has ensued.
A lot of thinking has been done.
A lot of soul searching has been sought after.
I haven’t gotten answers to my quest for happiness, but I have come to terms that happiness starts with you.